72 things The Purge taught me

Spoilers blah blah blah.

Centres in Britain & Ireland I rate higher than Brad Barritt

To celebrate the big South African's Lions call up, here's a grand list of players I think should be above him. I don't care if a number are injured. It's a comprehensive list.

Teacher to race Bolt over GCSE reforms

Teacher and former Kent fullback Nigel Plod, 48, is to race Olympic Gold Medallist Usain Bolt in a 100-metre sprint in the hope of beating him because he is not very happy with the governments’ proposed reforms to the education system.

The Overt Prestige

More revision materials. This time, it's the synopsis for Christopher Nolan's The Prestige, re-written about linguistic concept of Overt and Covert Prestige...

In the end of the Nineteenth Century, in London, Robert Angier, his beloved wife Julia McCullough and Alfred Borden are friends and users of an RP accept. When Julia accidentally dies during a performance, Robert blames Alfred for her death and they develops a strong regional accent. Both become famous and rival magicians, sabotaging the performance of the other on the stage by inserting flat /a/s and tricking them into monopthongising their vowels. When Alfred performs a successful trick, Robert becomes obsessed trying to disclose the secret of his competitor with tragic consequences. 

I Love Ross Perot (Lyrics)

To the tune of I Love Rock And Roll by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNQDIIg7nRo).
I saw him dancin' there 'bout his record figuresI knew they must've been making Clinton stirThe campaign was goin' strongLike a political King Kong,I could tell it wouldn't be longTill he was president, yeah me, because
I love Ross PerotSo put another chad in the ballot box, babyI love Ross PerotSo come an' take your time an' vote for him
He smiled so I got up and asked for his party“That don't matter,” he said'Cause it's all the sameSaid, “I'm standing for Reform, running all alone”An' next we were movin' onI was voting for Ross, yeah Ross
Next we were movin' onI was voting for Ross, yeah Ross, singin'
I love Ross PerotSo put another chad in the ballot box, babyI love Ross PerotSo come an' take your time an' vote for him
Said, “I'm standing for Reform, running all alone”
An we'll be movin' onWanting to reduce the deficit,Yeah with me, votin'
I love Ross PerotSo put another chad in the ballot box, babyI love Ross PerotSo come an' take your time an' vote for him

Extracts from Baz Lurham's Great Gatsby novelisation

"Gatsby?" demanded Daisy "What Gatsby?". Suddenly, Baz Lurhman turns up, slaps her in the face and shouts "THIS GATSBY!".

I have only been drunk twice in my life, and the second time was when I met Baz Lurhman and he shoved thirty pints down my neck, an imperial ton of coke up my nose and made us both jump up and down like a little girl on a space hopper, shouting "I'm a camera! I'm a camera!".

"You can't repeat the past" "Repeat the past? ...Why, of course you can" "Yeah, you're probably right, Leo. I should've set Gatsby in the modern day and given them all bazookas."

The Post-Hollywood Mission

I'm bored of blockbusters. Big-budget fluff more often than not without substance. A prime example is this week's Star Trek Into Darkness, which is quite good fun, but not anything spectacular. Actually no, it is something spectacular. It's just not anything else.

The reason JJ Abrams' sci-fi cash spinner works and, say, Die Hard 5 doesn't is because Abrams appreciates the art of variety. John McClaine's latest run-out was deadly boring, a poorly paced snooze riot in which the constant exploding helicopters seem to be there for the sole purpose of keeping the audience awake. Abrams keeps Star Trek pacey and while it does feel like 85% of the film is action sequences, they are all different from the last and interesting on some level. The characters are engaging and likeable, which helps too.

Unfortunately, Into Darkness is one of a dying breed. Iron Man 3, the other big release at the moment, is a film saved by Robert Downey Jr and a brilliant script from director Shane Black and witty brit Drew Pearce. I'm willing to defend that. However, move a screen down in your local multiplex and you may stumble into a screening of Olympus Has Fallen, a sopurific exploration of the American ability to pat oneself on the back. It's awful. It's the film more indicitive of the current market. In the past year and a half (The time since I've been an all-too-regular cinema-goer and therefore able to give an acturate account of what's been floating around), I've only given 4 big-budget titles (5 if you count Lincoln) the prestigious 8/10 rating. One of these was directed by Christiphor Nolan as well, so it doesn't really count. The Hunger Games was brilliantly gritty. It felt like a smaller, independent film by a good, well-meaning director with an interesting premise and glimmering lead given the budget it deserved, rather than a pile of money thrown at the screen until it turned into motion picture. Skyfall was an utter triumpth on every level, but this must be attributed to Sam Mendez. An art-house director with an eye for character just happened to be a genius at directing action as well, melding together a near-perfect Bond film. Same goes for Nolan and The Dark Knight Rises. There's a pattern here. At heart, these were smaller films, and would have worked without the money. Hollywood just gave them a chance to fulfill their entire potential, which is how I believe the system should work. The Avengers is something different, and the only reason I haven't lost all faith in the Tinsel Town set-up. In Joss Wheddon, Marvel found someone talented enough to turn the cash lobbed at the projector into something witty, exciting and imaginative. If we had more Joss Wheddons in the world, Hollywood would be a better place.

Unfortunately, we don't. We do, however, have plenty of interesting filmmakers plying their trade at the minute, giving us plenty to admire. The likes of Liberal Arts, In The House, Sightseers have all come out of the left field and made an impact on me. Films from all over the globe, not just one corner of LA or the same studio in London. Sightseers was filmed in the Yorkshire Dales, for crying out loud. This is, over the past 18 months, what going to the cinema has become for me. Not a mode of light entertainment, but a hunt. A hunt for a piece of art, for a film that really means something. In amongst the mass-produced tripe lay the gems. Find them. That's my calling. Dawdle down the coridors of Cineworld, and find them.

And find them I will.