This blog is like an escape for me, one I haven't used very often. It means I can write about films, which is nice. Also, that poentially nobody will ever read it, but it's still there, lying published like some kind of ill newspaper. It means I can get away with that last sentance, and the fact that I can draw up a Films Of The Year list despite not having seen any of the real 'favourites' for the crown from those in the know- I wanted to see We Need To Talk About Kevin, but have a bunch of particuarly un-morbid friends. My many attempts to see Tinker Taylor Soilder Spy were thwarted time and time again by everything from a broken projector to a man being hit in the head with a dinner tray (Nobody reads, I don't have to explain). As such, the following list simply condems what I HAVE seen with an award, eventually leaving one to collect the coverted Ramblings Blobery Cup For Best Film 2011 Sponsered by Cillit Bang. (Not actually sponsered by Cillit Bang) And, even though I saw it this, no, sorry, last year, I'm counting The Kings Speech as a 2010 movie. Otherwise it would have won everything. Except whatever I'm about to give to Your Highness. That was a stinker.
BEST OTHERWISE GREAT ADAPTATION THAT RUINED THE BOOK'S ENDING: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two
I love Harry Potter. I've read all the books multiple times. I know the rules of Quiddich better than I do Cricket (Although, that said, most people do) and I also happen to have seen, and enjoyed, all the films. Personally, I hold the third book and sixth film as my favourites, although in both the seventh isn't far behind. In fact, all of David Yates' work has been outstanding to me, espechially as he turned the dullest book into a lively and exciting motion picture whilst handling the Order of the Pheonix. So imagine my disapoinment after leaving the cinema following my screening of the final film, having seen the incredibly rewarding ending JK Rowling had written turned into two blokes hitting each other with fireworks. For this, it gets an award of mixed praise.
Most fun rubbish: Real Steel
The broken projector when seeing TTSS I mentioned previously lead to me watching Real Steel, with the worst expectations having despised Transformers. However, just watching Real Steel shows where Michael Bay went wrong with his adaptation of a childrens toy. In trying to make it 'appeal' to an older audience with sex and violence, he purged it of the only thing a toy has going for it: fun. Real Steel was cheesey beyond belief. It has no real likeable characters, let alone notable plot or ideas. However, Real Steel is wonderfully directed and portrays a sense of appropriatly child-like joy in it's take on robots hitting each other. It's terrible, but absolutely teriffic. See it.
Worst Film To Involved A Minitor's Genitle Area: Your Highness
It's also the best film to flounce a horned creature's willy around as well by defult, but to call Your Highness the best anything is a compliment too far. It's a sad state of affairs when a film that boasts the tag "Funniest Film Of The Year" can't raise a single laugh from me, a robot created by scientists trying to identify what humour is, designed to laugh whenever there's a single trace of what you humans call 'Funniness' present. From the deeply uncomfortable scenes involving a paedophillic cannabis-smoking dragon to the general sense of dislike I couldn't help but feel for every single character in the whole piece, it's the worst film I saw in 2011 and is something I really don't want to experience again.
Film I Actually Did Find The Most Funniest Of The Year: Jonny English Reborn
This is not a 'Comedy of the Year' prize. It is an award for the film at which I laughed the most. And for that, there can only be one answer. It's the one with Mr Bean pretending to be James Bond. Perhaps it didn't have anything quite as funny as the best bits in the original, but the gags kept coming as if they'd been writing them for the past 8 years since the original was released. Obviously as a Rowan Atkinson fan, I can't recommend this highly enough. Unless you're looking for a film about a monarch trying to solve a stammer. Then I'd point you towards The Kings Speech.
OVERALL FILM OF THE YEAR (OR WHATEVER I CALLED IT EARLIER): Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Since I wrote my review of ROTPOTA in July, I've managed to see the two earliest Planet of the Apes films, and couldn't help but be blown away by them. Not only were they still culturaly relevent, but they also tied with ROTPOTA in the kind of the way that'd make you think that they were sequels to that, not the other way around. Even when I saw it, Rise was screaming out as a FOTY favourite, showcasing some of the best CGI I'd ever seen and a performance from James Franco that totally worked as an appology for him being involved in Your Highness. It was obviously made as a blockbuster, but it's a smart blockbuster. It's a proper film in it's own right, not just a money making excersize, unlike the majority of motion pictures I saw in 2011. Here's hoping 2012 follows ROTPOTA's lead and keeps the top two inches present admist any explosions.
